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It's amazing how a simple conversation amongst band members can make for a 1000% better experience for the audience. We play and we do have some volume. But never enough to overpower the PA. That's just dumb.I quoted these 3 posts because the second is an answer to the first that I agree with and the third is something that only goes so far.
I have probably spent as much time behind a mixer as I have on stage playing. There is such a thing as an appropriate volume level for the venue you are in. If the amps are on stage there isn't much you can do about it out front. The stage volume has to be balanced or it affects how people perform because they can't hear themselves. Monitors will only get you so far. If there is a volume war going on the stage, the guitar and bass amps will always win. You can only carve out frequencies so much. If the volume is too loud the feedback will start with another frequency after you pull the most offending one down.
A good example of this is a band I used to run sound for had a guitar player that insisted on bringing a 100 watt head and a 4x12 cabinet for playing in smaller venues. I always had to tell him to turn down because I had him all the way out of the mix and he was still too loud out front. If I had brought everything else up, the venue owner would have asked me to turn it down. This also caused his singer to not be able to hear and would sing harder to try to get more volume. One night after the first song, I walked up to the stage and told him that he gets to decide how the band sounded that night. He could either lave his amp turned up and cause his singer to blow her voice out before the end of the night and the audience would only hear his guitar all night or he could turn down and I could make them sound good. He begrudgingly turned down. He had a relative with him that night. After the first set he asked him how they sounded and he said it sounded great. He then walked over and thanked me for making him turn down. I told him that I am a guitar player too and I get liking to get the amp cooking but you just can't do it in that small of a place. He would argue with me before that and tell me his amp had to be that loud to get his tone. This night was kind of the last straw for me. I was tired of the argument and if he had left the amp up I was quitting at the end of the night.
I have coached others in every band I have played in about stage volume. It helps having experience on both sides of the situation. I have had sound guys compliment us for being so easy to mix because we have our stage volume under control.
On the other end of this conversation; I often wonder why a venue wants to hire a band only so they can complain they are too loud. And this is in cases where the musicians aren't thinking they're Richie Blackmore 1976 or wtever and are playing at reasonable levels.